Not So Happy Ending

So, I feel like for some reason the craziest things happen to me as far as relationships and dating goes. I started talking to this guy Max, who I met on POF. He messaged me first saying ” You are by far the most attractive girl on here” He was super cute and I was excited to see if it would go anywhere. We started texting frequently, and would talk on the phone. After our phone call things got kind of weird and intense. He asked me if I wanted kids soon, because on my page it said I was undecided, he also said that if we worked out if I would move to New Jersey with him for his new job. After talking for a week or two, he was going to book a hotel and come visit/ meet me. He had just moved back to Buffalo, NY and I was in Virginia. So, I figured well we may as well meet and if he is willing to drive 7 hours and spend money to stay in a nice hotel then he seems genuine. However, after opening up to eachother he told me about how he used to live in Japan and was married, and before me he would only date Japanese girls who did not speak english. That raised a flag for me but again was not a turn off. The thing that did it for me was he told me if we date that I am not allowed to hang out with guy or be friends with any, and on nights I would go out he would text me telling to make sure I do not talk to any males or do anything stupid with them. What a hypocrite because then I found out he was messaging other girls, one being my friend and planning dates while he was in town supposively just to meet/ visit me. I called him out on it and he lied and said I was crazy and well that was that.

Catfished

I consider myself very good at detecting liars, because like any female who meets a guy online, she brings out her inner FBI agent in order to search information on the guy she is conversing with. I started talking to this guy named Ryan, that I met on POF. He seemed polite and engaging at first. We exchanged numbers, but told me that because the law firm he works at has strict texting privacies, that it would be easier to communicate through the messaging app KIK and gave me his phone number anyways. We went back and forth asking each other questions about our beliefs, our families, and our goals in life. After days of messaging back and forth, I was so excited that I though I had met a nice genuine guy. He had made plans with me to meet up Friday at one of the restaurants in between our locations. It almost seemed too good to be true, and that is exactly what it turned out to be. He would send me pictures of him at work, and ask my opinions on his daily outfits for court, so for a while I thought this was really the guy I was talking to. You can’t make up selfies, right? or so I thought. Then one day he accidentally sent me a picture of him in an elevator that he said was him currently, but he sent me that 2 days before. Right, then and there I had this gut feeling something was not right. I immediately remembered about google image search and how to use it. So I copied his pof profile picture to it and 5-6 profiles in different states popped up. I could not believe it, I was so angry but more embarassed I let this happen to myself. After being enraged, I texted him and could not believe this. I got no response and shortly after his POF profile got deleted, number changed and kik account disappeared. My personal note to self is if it seems to good to be true, it probably is. So becareful ladies.

CL Brazilian Chickens

After a string of completely unsuccessful dates meeting men the old fashioned way, I opted for the accelerated version. I posted an add on CL. I should mention I am above average attractive, and I POSTED ON CL. My post was almost more of a rant to my bad previous dates. It sited things like, doesn’t live with parents, has a job, is okay with physical activities, doesn’t deal drugs, and can afford to go on a date without complaining about being broke. In the short 1 hour time period before I was flagged and removed, (likely by a little troll that lives in his parents basement, and lives on Ramien) I could provide several entertaining stories.
However the best went as follows- Guy and I email, then text, then talk over the course of several weeks. Our first phone call started with him calling from his house phone (who has those?) and he pretended to be trying to order a prostitute. I guess that’s a thing with being hot, and posting on CL?? After we got through that very confusing moment we proceeded to have a great convo for over 2 hours! After awhile we decided to meet. After several failed attempts we finally find we can catch a spur of the moment meet, and he suggests his house. Believe it or not, this part went fine! We watched an old school movie, he taught me how to shoot a gun (okay slightly eccentric, and odd), and he showed me his craft projects and chickens. At this point, I’m pretty much conceded to the fact that while he is entertaining this is never going to work. We go to the bar to shoot some pool. He then shows me one arm is extreamly underdeveloped compared to the other. This kills a one night stand as well since, for that I’m picky. Then he starts getting allot of phone calls. He does his best to ignore them but finally concedes and takes the call. He gets of the phone and immediately starts asking me whats visible in my car, and if it’s obviously female. He lets me know that his “ex” is asking questions since she lives a block away. I ask if she would do anything to my car. He say’s “Well…. She’s Brazilian so theres no telling” I then find out there entire relationship history. They broke up 2 weeks ago, we’ve been talking on and off for three. Meanwhile I’m really just worrying over my poor defenseless car. On a good note, my car remained undamaged. Needless to say I ignored him from that point on.

The Crazy Cat Man Date

“Let me start by saying that I was really only looking to hook up. I had just been dumped by my boyfriend and am not the bar type and so I figured that online dating would be a reasonable option. I used a local personals service (“_city_dating.com”) and had been talking to a guy for about two days before agreeing to meet him. “

Mike” had told me that he used online dating because he was suffering from depression and was on medication that made it hard for him to perform. He decided that it was easier to meet girls this way than to meet up in person and then have to explain when they started getting physical. He went on to tell me though that he “had a good feeling” about me and that I was “exciting” to him despite his medication. Okay. I was cool with this and decided to go over to his place to see if we really did have chemistry since we both seemed to be looking for the same thing (a hook-up).

When I got there, he was waiting for me in the living room and we started making out. I could tell that he was getting a little aroused but was having some issues and so when he said that he knew what would “help” and that it was in his bedroom…I willingly followed. Walking in I couldn’t help but notice his bed…surrounded by cat condos. Lots of cat condos. (Some structured to be as tall as I was). I knew he had cats but I assumed he meant one or two and that they were just hiding when I came over. Nope. He had nine (or ten?). Which all came out from under the bed when we sat on it. And all went to their perches on the cat condos to watch us (after rubbing against him and being petted quickly). He then proceeded to start making out with me again and was…well…massively aroused at this point. I was massively creeped out. I like cats (I have two myself)…but having them watch me pee freaks me out much less watching me have sex.

I excused myself openly admitting that this was too weird for me and left. He followed me and begged me to give him another chance and “help” him. I left. For the next few days he messaged me asking me to come over and saying that he had “made progress” with me. I blocked him after receiving a photo of him nude, on the bed, surrounded by the cats.”