Catfished

I consider myself very good at detecting liars, because like any female who meets a guy online, she brings out her inner FBI agent in order to search information on the guy she is conversing with. I started talking to this guy named Ryan, that I met on POF. He seemed polite and engaging at first. We exchanged numbers, but told me that because the law firm he works at has strict texting privacies, that it would be easier to communicate through the messaging app KIK and gave me his phone number anyways. We went back and forth asking each other questions about our beliefs, our families, and our goals in life. After days of messaging back and forth, I was so excited that I though I had met a nice genuine guy. He had made plans with me to meet up Friday at one of the restaurants in between our locations. It almost seemed too good to be true, and that is exactly what it turned out to be. He would send me pictures of him at work, and ask my opinions on his daily outfits for court, so for a while I thought this was really the guy I was talking to. You can’t make up selfies, right? or so I thought. Then one day he accidentally sent me a picture of him in an elevator that he said was him currently, but he sent me that 2 days before. Right, then and there I had this gut feeling something was not right. I immediately remembered about google image search and how to use it. So I copied his pof profile picture to it and 5-6 profiles in different states popped up. I could not believe it, I was so angry but more embarassed I let this happen to myself. After being enraged, I texted him and could not believe this. I got no response and shortly after his POF profile got deleted, number changed and kik account disappeared. My personal note to self is if it seems to good to be true, it probably is. So becareful ladies.

CL Brazilian Chickens

After a string of completely unsuccessful dates meeting men the old fashioned way, I opted for the accelerated version. I posted an add on CL. I should mention I am above average attractive, and I POSTED ON CL. My post was almost more of a rant to my bad previous dates. It sited things like, doesn’t live with parents, has a job, is okay with physical activities, doesn’t deal drugs, and can afford to go on a date without complaining about being broke. In the short 1 hour time period before I was flagged and removed, (likely by a little troll that lives in his parents basement, and lives on Ramien) I could provide several entertaining stories.
However the best went as follows- Guy and I email, then text, then talk over the course of several weeks. Our first phone call started with him calling from his house phone (who has those?) and he pretended to be trying to order a prostitute. I guess that’s a thing with being hot, and posting on CL?? After we got through that very confusing moment we proceeded to have a great convo for over 2 hours! After awhile we decided to meet. After several failed attempts we finally find we can catch a spur of the moment meet, and he suggests his house. Believe it or not, this part went fine! We watched an old school movie, he taught me how to shoot a gun (okay slightly eccentric, and odd), and he showed me his craft projects and chickens. At this point, I’m pretty much conceded to the fact that while he is entertaining this is never going to work. We go to the bar to shoot some pool. He then shows me one arm is extreamly underdeveloped compared to the other. This kills a one night stand as well since, for that I’m picky. Then he starts getting allot of phone calls. He does his best to ignore them but finally concedes and takes the call. He gets of the phone and immediately starts asking me whats visible in my car, and if it’s obviously female. He lets me know that his “ex” is asking questions since she lives a block away. I ask if she would do anything to my car. He say’s “Well…. She’s Brazilian so theres no telling” I then find out there entire relationship history. They broke up 2 weeks ago, we’ve been talking on and off for three. Meanwhile I’m really just worrying over my poor defenseless car. On a good note, my car remained undamaged. Needless to say I ignored him from that point on.